Friday, May 05, 2006

Substitute Friday Joke - apologies to Andy!

As Andy Jarrett is away sunning it up in Mexico this week, the CF Community is left without its regular Friday Joke. Obviously this situation can't be allowed - so I humbly proffer this one I heard from an old college friend the other day:

A Jelly Baby walks into a bar and starts talking to a Smartie. After a few beers the Smartie says
"Ere, a bunch of us are heading to that new club, fancy tagging along?"

The Jelly Baby says
"No mate, I'm a softie, I always end up getting my head kicked in."

So Smartie says,
"Don't worry about it, I'm a bit of hard case I'll look after you."

Jelly Baby thinks about it for a minute and says
"Fair enough, as long as you'll look after me",

and off they go.

After a few more beers in the club, three Lockets walk in. As soon as he sees them, Smartie hides under the table.

The Lockets take one look at Jelly Baby and start kicking him, breaking bottles over his little jelly head, lamping him with little sugary chairs, and generally having a laugh.

After a while they get bored and walk out.

Jelly Baby pulls his battered Jelly Baby body over to the table and
wipes up his Jelly Baby blood and turns to Smartie and says
"I thought you were going to look after me."
"I was!"
says Smartie,
"But those Lockets are f*ing menthol"

I'll get me coat....


Niklas Richardson said...

That rocks! :)

Mike said...

Ha! you're going loose a lot of the Americans with that one.

Yacoubean said...

I agree with mike, I'm American and I don't get it. ;)

Alistair Davidson said...

Ah well - call it revenge for such comedic travesties as "Joey" ;)

Alistair Davidson said...

yacoubean -
"menthol" sounds like "mental" i.e. crazy / wild / vicious / etc... guess it's just one of those jokes that just doesn't translate well.

Two nations divided by a common language indeed...

charlie griefer said...

it was easy enough to figure out as an American, but yeah...does kind of get lost in translation a bit.

on behalf of Americans everywhere...really sorry about Joey. I don't know -what- we were thinking :(

Alistair Davidson said...

charlie - hehe, don't worry, on the other hand, we came up with "Gimme gimme gimme" and you guys took it and turned it into Will & Grace...

Can't help feeling, though, that if the US networks got hold of Fatehr Ted, it would turn into three priests (or maybe even Rabbis?) living in a Manhattan apartment, and Jack's drinking would be one of the first things to go... ah well, takes different strokes and all that :)

Mike said...


The only time I saw Father Jack wipe his face, he used a puppy. Now that's comedy.

Alistair Davidson said...

That would be an ecumenical matter!

Andy J said...

Cheers for post Alistair!!! No need for the apologies, it was a blinding joke by the way and cheers for jumping in there!