Twenty minutes later it rang again. This time I got there in time to pick up -
"Hello?" I said.
(Well, admittedly, at that time in the morning it was probably more like "blrglhmph?", but you'll have to perform the necessary transliterations yourself for the rest of this transcript)
A man with a very strong Indian-type accent replied:
"Hello, can I speak to Mr. Alistair Davidson?"
"Is your address [my address and postcode] ?"
"This is Fed-Ex, we have a package to deliver to you this afternoon"
"Oh ok..." ...so why do you need to ring me at 7am about it? I thought
"I need to confirm some security details - can you give me Mr Alistair Davidson's date of birth?"
Now at this point my tinfoil-hat alarm bells started ringing -
- why would Fed Ex possibly want my date of birth in order to deliver a package?
- come to think of it, how would they know my telephone number?
- in fact, how did I know this guy was from Fed Ex at all? He said he was calling from Fed Ex, but I could ring up anyone at random and claim to be Kylie Minogue, it wouldn't make it true...
I decided to play it cautious -
"Why do you need my date of birth?" I asked
"I need to confirm these security details to deliver the package" he said
"Well I'm not going to give that information out," I replied
"But we won't be able to deliver this package" he was starting to get a little tell-tale this-isn't-the-way-it's-supposed-to-go tone of voice
"Ok," I paused, thinking - in fact, how did they get my number? I've never sent anything by Fed-Ex, but I'm fairly sure they won't require any information about the addressee other than the address? Now I was really suspicious - time to challenge back....
"So who's this package from?" I asked
"Er - it's a cash, door-to-door delivery, I can't tell you who it's from" he replied. Well, I'll give him a 5.7 on artistic impression for speedy improvisation, I thought, but there was a definite hesitation there, for which the Russian judges would mark him down on technical merit. Besides, if they'll happily accept packages for delivery without any information about the sender, then they certainly wouldn't need to know anything about the recipient
"So can you tell me Mr Alistair Davidson's date of birth?" he returned to what I was increasingly convinced was his script.
"No, I'm sorry, I'm not going to give that information out," I said firmly.
...and he hung up on me. A swift 1471 showed that he'd suppressed the number before he called.
OK, so there's a couple of possibilities here -
- He really was from Fed Ex, and they really do have a policy of incredibly bizarre security procedures, ringing their addressees up at 7am, and hanging up on their customers. Call me Mr Idealistic, but I think that's unlikely
- He, or an associate, got my name and address from somewhere - maybe from something as simple as a spam letter I threw away, or come to think of it, I'm in the phone book - and decided to try some phishing.
If I was a betting man, I'd put money on the second.
Which makes me wonder -
- Does he / do they normally try this on US numbers? We don't really do Fed-Ex here in blighty, any delivery is far more likely to be via Parcel Force or even UPS.
- Do they (I'll assume for now that there's more than one of these scammers) deliberately call early in the morning, to get people while they're fuzzy and bleary and not thinking straight?
- How many other people have they managed to get identity details from like this?
I'm a suspicious sod, and paranoid about my personal information - it's a known side effect of having worked in "teh intarweb" for too long :-) - but I know plenty of people - like my mum - who will be incredibly dubious about giving their credit card details to an online retailer, but will quite happily answer any question asked by any random punter who rings them up and says "hi, this is (say) HSBC, can we check your account number and sort-code please?"
It's a sad fact that the weakest link in any security system is the people involved, and until there's a fundamental shift in human nature, that's unlikely to change any time soon.